Nance Rants and the Twenty-Six Percenters!

The following is an article meant to poke a lot of fun at Conservatism without really doing any research regarding where Conservatives really stand.

 The article is titled: I’m a Twenty-Six Percenter!  My responses are in bold.

NanceGreggs’s Journal: Nance Rants
I’m a Twenty-Six Percenter!
Posted by NanceGreggs in General Discussion: Politics
Thu Aug 09th 2007, 02:05 AM
I’m one of the twenty-six percent of citizens who still believe in our great President Bush, and everything he’s done for our country! I don’t believe in EVERYTHING he’s done because he falls short on a number of issues such as sealing the borders for one. However, better to be a 26 percenter than a 14 percenter (Congressional Approval Rating now that Dems have control).I believe my tax dollars should not be wasted on welfare, healthcare, and other communist programs. That’s why I support an administration that uses my tax money to increase Halliburton’s profits, or just allows it to go missing in Iraq! Actually, some government assistance programs are necessary, but should not be abused. However, the Left wishes for all people to be taken care of by the government – a truly socialistic system. As for Iraq, it is a part of a much larger war, but I suppose the Left would rather we pull out, allow the entire region to fall apart, and then will welcome a flurry of terrorist attacks against the U.S. after emboldening the enemy with such a pull out.

I believe in the party of moral values. That’s why I vote for the party of Duke Cunningham and Mark Foley! The folly of a few individuals does not represent the values of an entire party. Where do you people get this stuff?

I believe that trickle-down economics will eventually trickle down to me, and I will become a billionaire. That’s why I support tax-cuts for the wealthy! Never said it would make anyone a millionaire, but the unemployment rate is below 5%, and the economy is strong. Nice to know that heavy taxation isn’t sending me into poverty, and that the wealthier Americans that run the cogs of a free market are taking those cuts and re-investing in their growing businesses so that I may still have a job – as for the jobs going over seas? That was a liberal idea that caused that called NAFTA (one that I disagreed with greatly way back when).

I believe in Jesus Christ and all of his teachings. That’s why I condone torture! Using some techniques to get information from an enemy that plans to kill you is not torture. Trust me, you want torture, ask Islam about it, they are the experts.

I believe in war and protecting the homeland. That’s why I declined to enlist, so I could stay here and encourage other people to join up! Where do you Liberals get this crap? I am former military, but you don’t have to be a vet or active military to support DEFENDING THIS NATION. This is one of the stupidest arguments the Left uses, to be honest. It’s like saying, “I love honey but I refuse to be a bee keeper so I shouldn’t eat it.”

I believe drug addicts and sex perverts should be in prison. That’s why I listen to wholesome Americans like Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly! First of all comparing pain relievers to street drugs is a poor comparison, but even then, think about it. We are talking about the difference of a criminal element that purposely puts drugs in the hands of our children compared to someone who is in great pain and used a prescribed drugs to help kill the pain, and then made poor choices out of desperation to continue to kill the pain. As for sex perverts, there is a big difference between promiscuity and pedophiles! Still, both are wrong, but pedophiles don’t repent or feel guilty – and they ruin a child’s life. A promiscuous man, though practicing poor judgment, is hardly in the same league.

I believe in the sanctity of life, and protecting the unborn. That’s why I cheer when I hear about an abortion clinic full of people being blown up! I don’t cheer when I hear about abortion clinics being blasted. Nor do I condone picketing such clinics. I support getting to the root cause of abortion – unwanted pregnancy. I believe in education, and legislation to stop the genocide of our unborn. But think about it. How could it be that a mother wishes to destroy rather than protect the life of her young?

I believe in smaller, non-intrusive government. That’s why I support the president’s wire-tapping program! It’s a matter of context. Small government means allowing local government to take care of local issues, rather than the federal government. However, national security is a federal issue, and must be addressed by the federal government. Wire-tapping is a part of national security, hence is a federal issue. Besides, what’s the big deal about them keeping an eye out for the enemy? I don’t wish for the enemy to have free reign, and at the same time, I have nothing to hide so whether or not the government notices my activities is a non-issue. Slight inconvience for the safety of the nation. I think it’s worth it. After all, we are at war.

I believe in the party of fiscal responsibility. That’s why I support the Republicans who continue to run up the national debt! Actually, I agree that the current administration spends more than John Edwards in a Beauty Salon (as Governor Mike Huckabee would say). But imagine how much more the Democrats would be spending! Downright frightening. Fiscal responsibility will need to be the next President’s strong point because Americans will not continue to accept the irresponsibility of the spending of the government – especially considering the Chinese rival economy that is emerging and threatening us since they hold so much in U.S. bonds and foreign debt.

I believe that if we don’t fight ‘em over there, we’re going to have to fight ‘em over here. That’s why I stay States-side, so I’ll be armed and ready in case they show up! By fighting them over there odds are they will not be emboldened to come here, but it’s not a guarantee. But why just sit and wait? We need to stop the attacks before they come here. Didn’t the Liberals accuse Bush of not doing enough to stop 9/11? Yet the very things that would have prevented it, better intelligence (such as wire tapping) and military action against the enemy before they were able to move on us, is exactly what the Left wishes to kill. Makes no sense to me.

I believe that homosexuality is a sin and a threat to American society. That’s why I support the 100% gay-free Republican Party! Homosexuality is a choice, and the nice thing about this country is you are entitled to your choices. Freedom is a wondrous thing. But one’s rights stop at my nose, and Gays attempting to hijack a Christian institution like marriage, or practice their “choice” in front of my children is unacceptable.

I believe in the concept that we are all God’s children. That’s why we have to kill Muslims, because God never meant for them to be part of the family! Well, that’s an idiotic statement. If someone wishes to kill me, for the sake of self preservation I am going to defend myself. The radical Islamic terrorists have declared that Israel and the West must be destroyed. So, isn’t it prudent to protect ourselves?

I believe that it is my responsibility to stay well-informed. That’s why I have FOX-News on the TV, 24/7! I use a number of sources, and Fox News is in fact one of them. I would rather watch FOX News which is center-right, than the others which are far far left. Better chance of receiving the truth, that way.

I believe the president has enhanced the state of education in our country. That’s how I lurnt to speek and spel so gud! Funny. You spell as good as John Kerry accused our troops of. Liberal indoctrination has killed our schools. If the school system is so bad, then why are Liberals so against a voucher system which would enable kids that are not from wealthy families to have the opportunity to attend private schools as well? Afraid you might lose your socialistic grip on a few young comrades?

I believe the Commander-in-Chief chooses reliable military advisors to assist him with his war strategy. That’s why I respect every new one he appoints, no matter how often he appoints new ones! War is constant pressure, and the Left is applying constant pressure on this administration in a traitorous campaign that would not have been allowed by past presidents. Perhaps George W. Bush’s choices do come up quick and often, but with the bull the Left is slinging at him regarding his Generals, do you blame the man? Personally, I would still rather him listen to a military general, no matter how often he replaces them, on what to do than General Nancy Pelosi.

I believe a well-rested president is an effective president. That’s why I’m happy we have a president who is on vacation thirty-six weeks out of every year! Did you consider Congress’s month long vacation right now, or their four day work weeks in January when they proclaimed their first 100 hours would be their hardest worked?

I believe we should Support the Troops. That’s why I have a yellow-ribbon bumper-sticker on both of my SUVs! Actually I have Political Pistachio bumper stickers on my truck and little car – but if the SUV statement is a reference to Global Warming, check out my Extreme Environmentalist Lies post over at the home site.

I believe in free choice. That’s why I’m going to vote for whoever Pat Robertson tells me to vote for! I vote for who I vote for, through my own choices. Do you really think that all Christians hang on every word Pat Robertson says? Wow, you really are ignorant.

I believe that all Americans should enjoy good health. That’s why I believe sick, uninsured Americans should die and leave the rest of us to enjoy our good health! Universal Health would ruin the best medical care system in the world. Look, government services help those that find themselves in tough situations unexpectedly. I have no beef with that. It is when folks use welfare support as a lifestyle, or when government tries to impose such a system on everybody, that ticks me off. Imagine if you were a potential doctor and suddenly being a medical doctor would be nothing more than being a government employee on government wages. Would you go through all that schooling? Quality of care would go down, and as proven in Canada and Europe, waiting time for care would go up. All this while you pay as much as you would for insurance, but through a mandatory tax. Oh, yeah, that seems much better. NOT!

I believe that solid family values are the backbone of our country. That’s why my third wife, myself, and my current mistress are all campaigning for Giuliani! Cute. Giuliani is a fiscal conservative and believes in strong national security. But all of his social positions are as liberal as yours. Hardly one I wish to support. But if it was between him and any of the Dems, he would have my vote simply because all of the Dems wish to hand our nation over to Islam with no questions asked. Oh, and I am married to my first wife of 23 years, thank you.

I believe in spreading democracy around the world. That’s why I’m glad we let Iraqis vote while we were bombing the crap out of their country! Actually, that is a neo-con position. I don’t believe in going around trying to make countries democracies. However, I do believe in taking actions that will protect my nation from attack. If that nation becomes a democracy in the process, great. They will be better off for it.

I believe in America and everything it stands for. That’s why I display my made-in-China flag proudly on my front porch every single day! Thank your NAFTA supporting Libs and misguided Repubs for that one.

P.S. I believe that the fact that we twenty-six percenters became twenty-four percenters in the time it took to write this is just further proof that the surge is working! The surge is in fact working, and that is making Democrats really nervous. And before you jump all over the President’s rating, remember that 14% Congressional gallup poll rating.

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Published in: on August 11, 2007 at 4:13 am  Comments (1)