Hammer and Sickle in Every Pot

Obama’s Stimulus Package – What is in it?

A Hammer and Sickle in Every Pot———————-
The Great Oz, errr, uh, I mean, Barack Hussein Obama, promised quick resolution to our horrible economic situation that George W. Bush must’ve caused (never mind the fact that the Democrats took over Congress in 2006, or that a lot of what caused this downturn was caused by past Democrat liberal agenda movements like the CRA and handling of the GSEs); oh, and did I say it is the worst recession since The Great Depression (if you set aside half a dozen other valleys in the great rollercoaster of economic history). Government, under his divine hand, was going to give a quick jolt to the economy that would get things moving, help people pay their mortgages, fix our infrastructure, create jobs, give everyone a tax break, provide a living wage, put a chicken in everyone’s pot, invent cars that run on hope and change, align the planets, and hammer those greedy, out-of-control, private airplane riding, wealthy business people into the poor house where those arrogant bastards belong.

Yeah, yeah, you go get ’em, Barry!

Quick as lightning, with a bony finger along the side of his articulate nose, a stimulus package was created by Obama out of thin air. Don’t be so silly, doubters. How could you possibly think it was already essentially written by the hand of the prophetess, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid? It is all of the Messiah’s handiwork. He said so, so it must be true.

What, pray tell, are those magical stimulus items in the stimulus package that is ready to give a quick jolt to our ailing economy?

I can’t wait to read this simple, to the point, easy to understand bill that is only going to spend a measely 800 billion buckaroos (did someone say $900 billion? Wow, it seems to be increasing daily).

Hmmmm, okay, let’s see. Let’s start with infrastructure. That is supposed to be the part that is going to create millions of jobs. After all, we better act quickly. Nancy Pelosi says we are losing 500 million jobs per month!

Ah, here we are. Infrastructure. Title XII, at CBO.gov, $30 billion for actual highway construction. Let’s see here, let me pull out the calculator. Wow, that is a whopping 3.75% of the money going towards. . . huh? Only 3.75%? Well, that is still a lot of money. There must be more important things in the bill that the money is going towards that is keeping the amount for highway construction down.

Obama did promise to make us a more green nation, after all, with the onslaught of man-made global warming where the effects of such a climate disaster – – – wait, this just in, changes in solar cycles are cooling us down. Okay, fine, man-made global warming is a myth, but we still need to be green, right? So let’s see those great, green provisions in Obamas Stimulus Package. Hmmm, I see, we have $4.6 billion for the coal industry, $50 billion or a nuclear bail-out (which has those friends of the earth folks all twisted with anger). Wait, that’s not very green at all, is it? In fact, that isn’t a whole lot of tree huggin’, flowers in the hair, dancing in the meadows green at all!

Hmmm, I will have to talk to my Congresswoman (in my case, Mary Bono Mack) about this. Surely she has the Stimulus Bill and can explain to me what the heck is going on. Oh, wait, that’s right, the Congressional staffers don’t have a copy of the Stimulus Bill. The lobbyists have a copy of it though. Good ‘ol Obama, shaking things up by making sure the lobbyists that were supposed to have no part of his administration populate it, and have all the copies of his Stimulus Bill. Gotta love it.

Why, that lying sack of. . .

Calm down. Surely, the rest of the Stimulus Package has great projects sure to stimulate this economy. Of course, it is not full of pork. Obama said so. He told us straight out that there are no earmarks in this bill. Nevermind the billions of dollars going to pork projects that are there because they were written into the bill! Besides, what do you care? After all, Chuck Schumer says you don’t care if the thing is loaded with pork!

Back to the bill. Let’s see what wonderful things are in there. $30 million for a mouse, $335 Million for Condoms and sex-education Programs (that’ll stimulate somebody, but not the economy), $1 billion for Amtrak (the federal railroad that hasn’t turned a profit in 40 years), and so on and so on. . .

But hey, a whopping 3.3% is going towards agricultural programs!

Is it too late to take Obama back and get a refund?

I wonder how many people that voted for him are having buyer’s remorse?

Unfortunately, I am feeling the socialism spread across America, already. Great Job, Obama. Do you have arm-bands to hand out too?


Also posted on American Daily Review, and Political Pistachio

Published in: on February 13, 2009 at 11:13 pm  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. Gerard Celente recently made some comments and forecasts about the economy and unemployment that sound hysterical on the surface but are based on the facts of the present crisis. Makes you wonder how bad things really are.

    Meanwhile, I read a humorous take on the stimulus package, with a little bit of truth in it.

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