Thousands eagerly await his lord, the great liberal messiah Barack Obama (with all 143 days of his massive pool of experience), to take the stage built by Britney Spear’s set designer.
Oooops. Didn’t McCain’s team call that one? Wasn’t the celebrity status the media is trying to whip up about Barack Obama compared to that of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears by the McCain campaign, and was quickly countered by the Obama campaign as a silly connection for McCain’s camp to make? Looks like McCain had it right all along.
And, as expected, the greek columned set is designed to make Barack Obama look larger than life. The Denver camera angles last night had him looking larger than everyone else on stage. This is because they have to make him look like that, because when it comes to his position on the issues and his character, he looks very small.
Obama’s speech better be something like the one that captured everyone’s imagination at the last DNC convention. More than likely it will fall short – because Obama’s speech will be an attempt, I think, to recapture the magic his campaign had before people began realizing how he is simply an empty suit. There will be no specifics on the issues, except perhaps “I was against the war before it was cool to be against the war.” Believe you me, Obama’s speech writers crafted his speech carefully, and are making sure Obama can see the words clearly on the teleprompter so that he doesn’t launch into a stuttering blast of “uh, uh, uh, hold on, I’m trying to think, uh, uh, uh.”
And just remember, as you begin to think about his speech, and wonder about Obama’s character, don’t forget the rules according to Team Obama…
1. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS MOTHER.
2. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS FATHER.
3. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS WIFE.
4. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS PREACHER.
5. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS (typical white person) GRANDMOTHER.
6. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS MOBSTER FRIENDS.
7. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS BOMBER FRIENDS.
8. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS RELIGION.
9. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS NAME.
10. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT RACE.
11. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT APPEASEMENT.
12. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS VOTING RECORD.
13. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS (lack of) EXPERIENCE.
14. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS FLAG PIN.
15. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS INCOME.
16. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS LIBERALISM.
17. WE CAN’T TALK ABOUT HIS EARS.
But you can, however, talk about hope and change – and a change for hope – and Hope the change is a change from the hope that the old hope and change never seemed to change. Or something like that.